December 2, 2008

elder television

Last night, Boston Legal hit one out of the ballpark for all of us elders who are tired of television programming aimed at every generation but ours. If you missed this episode, where the firm takes on the television industry for discriminating against the oldest generation, you can watch it when it shows up here. Unfortunately, this creatively funny, poignant, and topical series ends next week, and it is going out with a bang that I wish had been postponed. Like, forever.

In the argument to the court that law partner Carl Sack (Emmy Award winner John Larroquette) makes, he asserts that, on the average, people over 55 watch about 6 hours of television a day, compared to the 3 hours watched by young people, who are usually online or texting at the same time. The case is brought to the court by Catherine Piper (Betty White), who is bored, can't get hired for a job because of her age, can't bike or climb mountains etc. because of effects of aging, and so she watches television. Except there's almost no programming aimed at entertaining people of her age.

It's impossible to capture here in words the impact of the show's acting and messages. You have to watch it and commiserate.

And there's no way to capture the poignancy of Denny Crane (William Shatner) as he fights for the life he loves against the tyranny of Alzheimer's.

The characters of Boston Legal are wackily intelligent, and most of them are over 60 years old. I'm going to miss them; I never missed a show. Hopefully, they will be running online for a long time to com.

From here:

For once, though, a widely admired TV drama's dismissal has nothing to do with ratings. Boston Legal's imminent retirement is of its own choosing. This time, creator David E. Kelley has decided to quit while ahead. Boston Legal may not go down as the greatest courtroom drama in TV history, but when the jury's finally in, the verdict is likely to be more favourable than most.

The only show left that I never miss these days is Brothers and Sisters. But it's no Boston Legal.

As I surfed around, looking to see if I could find any studies on elders and television, I stumbled upon a reference to this book (preview pages here). Published a decade ago, the book includes observations that are still valid.

It's time for some new research on television watching by those of us over 60. It still seems pretty much a wasteland for people like us.

Categories: aging, television
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December 1, 2008

I've given out, given up, given in

In a way, it's a relief. I don't have to go through all the complex strategizing to get him to compromise -- only, each time, to come up against a stone wall. Actually, it's more like being dumped into a vat full of jello. Either way, I get nowhere.

I'm out of energy and stamina. I give up. He can take care of our mother any way he wants.

He has arranged with a female musician friend of his to come and stay with our mother. Every once in a while. No set schedule. I've met her. She's nice enough, and, as far as I can tell, my mother likes her.

I wanted him to hire someone from an agency who is trained to deal with dementia patients. That is, who knows what kind of patience is necessary to deal with someone who pretty much lives in her own personal reality, which sometimes overlaps with a more objective reality -- but even then, with her own emotional twist. But he wouldn't agree to that.

So, I give up, and I'm intellectually and emotionally distancing myself from the situation. I will come in once a month to visit my mom. I hope that we both can take the emotional stress. It's almost better if she completely forgets who I am.

I'm hoping to be completely out of here and out of primary caregiving by the end of the year. It seems like forever.

Categories: aging, caregiving, dementia, family, getting older
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