Elaine, I relate to this all too well. Almost two years ago my grandmother passed away from complications of non-Hodgkins lymphoma. Although she has four sons and one daughter that were supposed to be there for her, it didn’t happen.
I know it was difficult for my father to handle his mother living her final moments, he took to avoidance and even deflection. His siblings contributed by spending a couple of hours with her and dropping off food. Of course, these tasks were important but what about the moments at night where she had difficulty breathing or using the bathroom? Or what about the moment where she was finally told that they were just wishing she would live what she has left to the fullest because there was nothing else that could be done?
I often wonder, when the time comes with my parents – will the males in my family ever do the same as my grandfather did for his ailing wife?
i am tiring of man as victim to the post-feminist bomb.
i can only speak for the man in my life-Roberto. on his day off, he went to the market while his children and i played video games. he returned with bagels for breakfast tomorrow, pizza for dinner tonight, and movies for he and i to watch after the kids have gone to sleep.
in between supper and dreamland, Roberto and i shared a lovely glass of cabernet that he thougthfully poured, and we told the children stories of our ‘olden days.’
he did all that, while i sat on my ass, and the kids ate icecream sandwiches.
boys are cool.
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Consider yourself fortunate, Dedette. For every Roberto you can point to, I’ll show you a thousand opposites. It’s not that Robertos don’t happen; it’s that they are still rare on this planet.
i understand, Elaine. but, i don’t want men to be women. i don’t want a crossbreed. Roberto’s idea of caring is to wander the market…prolly fulfilling some male need to hunt and gather. my way of caring is to braid his daughter’s hair before she goes to the office with him this morning.
i dunno. what do i know?
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Elaine, I relate to this all too well. Almost two years ago my grandmother passed away from complications of non-Hodgkins lymphoma. Although she has four sons and one daughter that were supposed to be there for her, it didn’t happen.
I know it was difficult for my father to handle his mother living her final moments, he took to avoidance and even deflection. His siblings contributed by spending a couple of hours with her and dropping off food. Of course, these tasks were important but what about the moments at night where she had difficulty breathing or using the bathroom? Or what about the moment where she was finally told that they were just wishing she would live what she has left to the fullest because there was nothing else that could be done?
I often wonder, when the time comes with my parents – will the males in my family ever do the same as my grandfather did for his ailing wife?
i am tiring of man as victim to the post-feminist bomb.
i can only speak for the man in my life-Roberto. on his day off, he went to the market while his children and i played video games. he returned with bagels for breakfast tomorrow, pizza for dinner tonight, and movies for he and i to watch after the kids have gone to sleep.
in between supper and dreamland, Roberto and i shared a lovely glass of cabernet that he thougthfully poured, and we told the children stories of our ‘olden days.’
he did all that, while i sat on my ass, and the kids ate icecream sandwiches.
boys are cool.
++
Consider yourself fortunate, Dedette. For every Roberto you can point to, I’ll show you a thousand opposites. It’s not that Robertos don’t happen; it’s that they are still rare on this planet.
And I invite you to link over to this:
http://www.kalilily.net/weblog/03/05/11/122507.html
one of my better rants about women, mothers, and our difficult histories.
i understand, Elaine. but, i don’t want men to be women. i don’t want a crossbreed. Roberto’s idea of caring is to wander the market…prolly fulfilling some male need to hunt and gather. my way of caring is to braid his daughter’s hair before she goes to the office with him this morning.
i dunno. what do i know?
++