Life’s Third Act

Jane Fonda, who is exactly my age, has given any number of talks about life’s “third act”, which, as in theatre, is the last act of a production.  Billionaires like Fonda have the financial resources to live in a comfortable environment, meet their health requirements, and hire whomever they want to take care of whatever other physical needs they have.  But most of today’s elders are trying to figure out how to play out their last acts in more than just survival mode.

Even Fonda is confronting the problem of feeling isolated and extraneous as the major activities that gave her previous two acts meaning, purpose, and community slowly disappear.  Still in relatively good health, Fonda has taken to being an activist for various issues that are important to her as a way of continuing to feel useful and connected.  Good for her.

But what about the rest of those middle class retired seniors who struggle with feeling isolated and purposeless because of health issues, lack of financial resources, and inadequate living conditions.

Under these circumstances, what are their choices for how they perform in this last act of their lives?  How we elders live depends and awful lot on where we live, and our choices are limited.

I am fortunate that I live in my own rooms in my daughter’s house.  We are three generations in this house:  my daughter and son-in-law, my grandson, and me.  I contribute financially each month to offset the my share of the costs of utilities, phone, cable and streaming television, and food etc. I’m responsible for my breakfast and lunch food, and my daughter cooks dinners for all of us.  Luckily for me, my daughter is a born caregiver and my son-in-law is an easy-going guy.  He even does the dishes.  I am one of the fortunate ones.

A recent post on theseniorlog.com links to an article on the growing trend of intergenerational living. At its best, intergenerational living

brings together people of all ages in an environment that encourages interaction, socialization and activities that are beneficial for all.

But many families, for various reasons, can’t pull this off.  As reported in the Jesuit Review

Many of us in the current generation of senior citizens also must cope with our family members’ living far away. According to a study from 2019, about one-quarter of Americans live more than 30 miles from their nearest parent or adult child, but that share is higher for college-educated individuals, who often move away from their hometowns to pursue their careers. Migration has always existed to some extent, but until recently, when families migrated, they often included adult children, grandparents, cousins, nieces or nephews. The current ease of transportation and communications has actually resulted in limited, non-physical connections for a significant portion of society.

It has also destroyed much of family life. Family elders may end up removed from close contact or routine communication with younger members of their clan.

So, what are the other housing options for playing out your last act? You can either “age in place” or pay enormous fees to live in an assisted living facility — both of which come with their own major problems.

Assisted living monthly fees run from $3000 a month to over $10,000 a month, depending on the level of services you will get.  One place I found online — an innovative and progressive living situation for elders that offers individual cottages and apartments in a community-based setting — does not even bother providing information about cost on their website.

Aging in place is also not as good an answer as you might think, either.  According to a an article on Housewire ,

Aging in place is seen as a leading “social barrier“ to healthy aging in America in 2024, according to a new survey conducted by Alignment Health. The survey was first reported by McKnights Senior Living.

“As more seniors choose to live independently and longer in their own homes, aging in place brings its own set of challenges: nearly seven out of 10 consider aging in place a top social barrier to their health and well-being,” the organization said of its survey findings.

I don’t know if the new administration is prepared to tackle the issues that are preventing most elders from having a successful Last Act.  Maybe we all need to band together somehow (like the supporters of reproductive rights) and organize some sort of protest. How about our rights to live before we die? I wonder if Jane Fonda might be interested in taking the lead.

9 thoughts on “Life’s Third Act

  1. So much of what you listed for elder housing is seen in our church member’s living situations. Those who can afford it move into care facilities where they can be cared for, at different levels, until they are no more. Those members so of disappear from our radar. I find that sad.

  2. Yeah. Right now all we have between us is a number of places I can move to. This doesn’t really help! I don’t want to join a church. I would be happy to participate in whatever you decide to do for The Third Act, including forwarding your above letter and sending one of my own!

    • Let’s think about this. Maybe begin by contacting Fonda to see if that floats her boat. And remember the pink pussy hats and snatchels? We need a gimmick to get attention. Feel creative?

      • OK, found part of it:
        EPIC (Elderly People in Crisis), or possibly
        GLEE (Gray-haired Ladies….) (I can’t remember the rest of it now!)

  3. EPIC stands for Elderly People in Crisis. GLEE could stand for Gray-haired Ladies (have had) Enough. I saw somewhere a visual that could be used, with one of these possible titles. I’ll keep thinking….

  4. Did you get my most recent email? Sorry if not! But yeah, get in touch with Fonda – this is more serious than pink pussy hats!

  5. I’m all in for action on this! And getting in contact with Fonda and her pals (Lily Tomlin etc.) is a very good step.

    Remember the Gray Panthers?

    • Yes, I looked them up to see what they were up to. They have state chapters, but not one in Massachusetts. They don’t seem to be doing much. I might contact them.

Leave a Reply